HAPPY NEW YEAR

loljks I'm still sad.

HOWEVER, I will make sure to sleep with a positive attitude :D

DEPRESSED PIG

So my Steam Account got hacked...

My Dota/TF2 items taken...

WORTH FRIGGIN 40 BUCKS!!!

I WORKED SO HARD FOR THEM

DUCK WORKED SO HARD FOR THEM BUT HE SAID DW

I WORRY

EVEN FRIGGIN JIMFACE WORKED SO HARD FOR THEM BUT HE SAID DW

I WORRY

MY GOSH

THAT ARCADIAX15 PERSON WILL NEVER GET LAID

INTERWEBZ, HUNT THIS EVERETT FOLSE DOWN.

THEY SOLD MY DOLFRAT, THEY SOLD IT.

SO DAMN DEPRESSED OVER IT

Swagger

  If this sounds stupid and hipster in anyway then I'm sorry.

  So, I was scrolling through my Facebook and I came across a girl I remember being in charge of on Orientation Day, it's of her wearing necessarily revealing clothes at some #swag party, sigh, she grows up too quick for someone barely in the teenager age category.

  Now, in all my conservative nature, I question this act of hers (JUDGEJUDGEJUDGE). I know I'm pretty much some hermit playing video games in their room hence I have no right to criticise, but this whole "break the rules because that's the cool thing to do" bothers me. Why are young teenagers doing all this crap nowadays? Is it cool? Fashionable? Because I'm pretty sure a sports-bra thing sad excuse of a top coupled with mini show-your-butt denim shorts look fugly as hell. I've read somewhere they go with anything except with eachother, but I guess not, REVEAL ALL UR BEAUTIFULLY FAKE TANNED SKIN.

  Now onto stupid captions... What is dis 'die young' business. Don't you want to have longevity or whatever? If you're so intent on dying, how about go die now, jeez louise.

Y SO UNHEALTHY

  Guess who's munching beetroots and they hate beetroots on this fine (sarcasm) Christmas Day?

  Moi.

  Wai?

  To prevent anemia.

  Apparently I'm showing symptoms for it, parents are freaking out.

SO DAMN FOREVERALONE

  *insert friends' eyeroll, "OMG YOU ALREADY TOLD ME FIVE TIMES", and tutting on my patheticness here :(*

  What the hell, it's 11pm on the Sunday, where the hell are you I'm SAH BORED. I don't care if all we ever do is fight and quarrel over petty matters but at least I won't be bored then D:<

  What's worse? I'm STILL not doing my assigned homework.

...

   I TAKE EVERYTHING I SAID BACK YAY YOU'RE BACK AND I'M ACTING 10 TIMES MORE PATHETIC THAN USUAL BUT THAT'S COOL. IT'S ALL COOL. CHAIRMAN IS MY PROTECTOR FROM VERBAL HARASSMENT YAY. WHY AM I MAKING EVERYONE FOLLOW MY BAD SLEEPING HABITS AND SLEEPING LATER ;-; MIANE <3

Silver Lining

  Just finished writing my Christmas cards, hands are so sore damn you all.

  There is actually verbal interaction in the household again, I guess we're really having Festive Spirit. Even a pretty wreath on my front door.

  Even bought food for parties' consumption.

  Things are looking up.

200th post

  I'm glad both of us recognised our mistakes (mainly you, hmph). And before we know it we're talking normally and cracking our usual lame-o jokes.

  It somehow makes me sad when thinking about the situation at home. I'm not the horrible child he makes me out to be. But hey, I won't be much longer when I find a way to get rid of him forever. Off my back, that is. Why is she going along with all of his bullcrap?

  My Kris Kringle is awesome, am I the only one who enjoys getting giftcards and actual food rather than actual material?

  Chairman and I found Anime equivalents of eachother for new Steam dps, she should get into this artsy business, 10/10 would bang.

Oh You

  Awkward moment when you live under the same roof as someone you see as a monster.

  Awkward moment when the person claiming to be your protector hurt you the most.

  Awkward moment when the person you're warned against cheers you up.

  I'm really sad, it's late, I wish I can to talk to someone.

This is messed up

What is this.

Question is, What?

  The most awkward moment is when you KNOW you're gonna do some work, you KNOW you are determined to get all this work done.

  ...then you realise you don't actually have any work.

  FML

  I shall do my History thing then.

Just abit confused

  Do I judge someone permanently because of certain traits in their living habits? Why yes, I do. And I don't think I'll stop judging until that certain someone correct their living habits. But if said living habit is something I am not comfortable with/is unfamiliar with, I don't stop thinking about it. Am I just living in a world too sheltered from these unkind habits? Well, for one thing, for someone sensitive to those who swear every second word it is pretty much inevitable.

  But right now, this issue is really making me frustrated. And when a certain someone is warning me to stay away from people with these habits like a neverending alarm I feel like I have to speak up and do something about it. Does having a certain living habit deduce from someone's goodness as a person? Does doing this living habit make said person deserving of no love? Is a correction of habit too late?

  Guys, I'm just abit confused.

  Damn you potheads.

Depressing Day

  I was literally moping around the whole day. I got 88% in Chinese, it's not above 90 and I'm really sad over its unfairness and crappiness. Then my Modern teacher just had to tell me that I got mid 70s in Modern while everyone else is happily staring at their 90s.

  I got so depressed and mopey I ran home from there and then realised I had an ext 2 meeting, time to get a note written for that.

  When I got home Duck was being all supportive after that mope he found my Shitty Wizard. Minecrafting went bad when a random friend of Jimface's joined and it became really awkward. I mean Art was alright since I technically play with him alot but the other guy is just so RUGHHH SO AWKWARD.

  Then almost expectedly I lost many Dota games in a row and all of them we COULD HAVE POTENTIALLY WON. THE RAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEEEE.

  AND NOW WHY AM I DNMING WITH DUCK WHY IS HE SWEARING SO FREAKING MUCH WHY IS HE SUPPOSEDLY 'POURING HIS HEART OUT' STAHP STAHP STAHP DIS I WANNA SLEEP.

Some Art for Me

These are ALL the entries from my recent contest.

It's a shame I can't credit these amazing artists since the PM system shut down with the site. I can't reward them either.

Please leave my OZ profile a comment to claim your art (and prize!)

Hot Weather OTL

Exam break:

Me: WOOHOO! GAMING HERE I COME FREEEEEDDOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM
*Game lags like hell*
*head starts hurting like crap*
Me: Oh well it's just Friday night, sleep early so I can get up early on Saturday :D

Saturday Morning:
*head hurts more like crap*
Me: FML

Exams Over, My Head Hurts

  Chinese speaking is by far, and I'm 100% positive about this, the WORST exam out of them all. I've been getting no sleep so I'm also very tired and my eyesight worsened and my eyebags enlarged tenfold.

  IDGAF, let's Dota.

Hey...

  There are some things I'd really like to say to you but I'm a wuss and can't say shit straight out. If one day you'll find my blog and I find this. You probably won't, because I sure as hell won't give you the link and you sure as hell won't find it.

  [deleted]

...
...
...

MEET DUH STRANGER

  So I managed to watch 2 movies dealing with Internet strangers today, 'Trust' and 'The Boy She Met Online'. I know I should be studying but I finished the rest of topic 1 for modern and topic 2 I have summary notes from class, good enough right? Plus I wrote an apparently awesome thesis and opening sentence according to Duck (irony eh). Gonna finish the points by tonight.

  Let's start with 'Trust'. It's about a naive and according to me, PLAIN STUPID 14-year old girl who falls in love with a dodgy webcamless stranger online, meets him and gets raped. Now, before you think, that's pretty normal nowadays, that ain't the full story. This girl, Annie, is so damn stupid, after he changes his age 3 THREE TIMES from 16 to 20 to 25 she STILL meets him. When she gets greeted by a middle-aged man who tells her creepy things about how they're soulmates in the safe place of a mall she STILL doesn't run away. After getting gifted underwear and asked to model them she STILL doesn't just GTFO. And yeah, she gets raped(according to her it's consensual, I call BS), shes fine with it, her parents go mental and her dad even kills a guy. She loves the pedo until she realises that he's ACTUALLY a pedo and pedos on other people too. Not a cool story at all.

OMG 0LD MAN GIV M3H PANTI3Z, TRU LUB BBZ!

  So obviously, this movie didn't invoke a positive reaction from me. I don't understand how rotten tomatoes gave it a 77% since it's UNREALISTIC AS HELL. Throughout the whole thing I was groaning about how stupid the girl is and being like WTH at the comments of the video saying how she's just naive. Yeah right, I'm PRETTY sure she isn't mentally retarded.

CHILL MUM, H3'S HAWT K I GOT DIS

  The second movie, 'The Boy She Met Online' is slightly more realistic, but certainly not too much better off. It's about this other girl (17, 18 in a month) who actually has friends warning her about talking to anonymous Interwebz people meeting a 23-year old jailridden but HOT AS HELL guy. I give bonus points for fanservice. He lies to her about being in jail and meets her normally when he got out. She fully supports him even after he confesses about his crimes (covering up the fact that he actually did it with how he was framed). Then he involves himself with his badass friends who drives him in deep shiz and she becomes involved AND HER MUM TOO.

  I think things worked out too good for this girl since he's hot and his DP actually understated his hotness. The ending of this (SPOILERS) also consisted of the girl and her parent hugging, then the audience is left to wonder, DAFUQ DID I JUST WATCH since you're not sure if it's supposed to be a cliffhanger or that the director/writer got too lazy to finish it off. Like even 'Trust' had a better ending when the ending credits show the identity of the pedo rapist.

  So in conclusion, people aren't really interpreting this "I meet stranger shit happens" idea very well. They often stray away from the stranger part and focus on how families are affected and fanservice. Someone come along and do a better job pls. 1/10 will not date.

Happy 9000+ Views!

  Bet most of them were from myself :')

  Sick again today, didn't have the guts to go back home or might get accused of jigging. My health has really deteriorated over the past few months, I blame Castle Hill as it is the source of all my butthurt.

  Man, so much to do over the weekend. But the main thing is to finish Modern and start English Essay.

  Catch Ya'll Laterz

56% Eco 2.0

  Aw man, why am I struggling so much on this subject. Perhaps its how I always fall asleep but even so I feel like such a lostie, class has been getting better but reviewing past topics can be a total bitch because I didn't take up the good habit of writing notes as you go. To think I didn't start Modern either because of HOW DAMN MUCH I'M STRUGGLING WITH ECO.

  OTL brb gonna shoot self.

Sick, but New Format

  Maybe it was from my mum errand yesterday but since I got home I felt very sick. But I persevered and did  my Ext History which was due today. School felt like death because not only could I barely keep my eyes open my head and throat throbbed like crazy. I didn't wanna miss school since my Ext teacher said he'd kick me next time I miss/is late for a class. The things I do for morning class... at least theres none next week!

  I slept during Modern till 10 (I figured mum would be in bed and I didn't want the office ladies to call her and disturb her). When I finally got to sick bay the lady came in after ringing my mum, not with a reassuring announcement that she's coming to pick me up, but a freaking get out of school card. Thanks mum, glad you prioriticsed sleep over my wellbeing. So I kind of... limped home, it was the best way to put it. It was raining and I was shivering to death from my lack of jumper.

  When I got home I didn't know what I felt- angry or sick, or maybe both. But after a nice, long shower I defs feel better. Now, WHO GAVE DIS SICKNESS 2 MEH?! At least momma's being nice, but my throat refused to make a sound since it was so sore, she thought I was ignoring her again, sigh.

  New format! OMG it's not black! Yeah this one feels very cute and I ended up being very happy with it when I finished the layout.

Productive

  One word to describe my weekend :D On Friday Night I rushed to finish my one-page document and proceeded to play. On Saturday I actually wrote some eco notes (not the whole chap like I was aiming for unfortunately) and played games. But at dinner I actually did cleaning and even cut up dessert And today, I gamed the whole day. WITH A GOOD CAUSE.

  I've completed my seraphic egg, and today I also managed to complete my merciless egg. That's $10 USD right there guys. I also found an unusual essence worth $5-$10 and bought a LGD pennant for $2.50 which was worth it as the price is likely to inflate further. Then Jimface was being nice and gave me a ward, I also traded this useless mythical item of mine for 6 other items I actually quested for. So that's basically all I aimed for this Halloween event, and I achieved it :D So now I don't have to feel pressured to play and focus on my homework... hopefully.

  I aim to complete my eco notes and modern notes on monday, and actually write an entry for ext 2 before I crap brix.

Eventful and Crappy Day

  Morning started out badly, I got up early and caught the early bus. And for about the millionth time the bus got delayed and I ended up being late. It's so stupid because it stopped RIGHT NEAR my busstop and wouldn't move or let us off, then it just continued to drive for MOAR METRES until I had to walk a long way back, all this wasted 20 minutes. Luckily my awesome Modern Teacher didn't mark me late because everyone understands the pain of my living location. Then I got all angsty about moving again because IT'S STUPID.Plus some fatass lady just had to block my exit from the bus and then another fatass lady stepped on my foot and I nearly tripped and lost my shoe.

  Day was alright, we got our reports, my rankings were terrible. I managed to find me some bargains at the yr 12 book sale thing, that was pretty cool. I handed in my Hist Ext and Eng Adv, thinking I can get away with Eng Ext 1 and hand it in on Monday (I literally spent whole of yesterday doing work and didn't have time for it). Who knew the HEAD TEACHER got aggro over us and spoke to us individually while analysing our REPORTS! I talked my way out of her aggroing on me, but she told me to hand it in by 8pm tonight (I told her I would) and I have to send a copy to her as well... So much for winging it...

  Then I bought some milk tea after school, I drank it on the bus but THAT WAS DELAYED AS WELL. Castle Hill is officially Hell on Earth, I'd rather live in Bankstown. So I was literally busting through the whole trip and had to get off halfway to find a toilet, luckily the half-dying me managed to wander into a Hairdresser store and the nice lady gave me the key to their shared employee bathroom, what a relief (geddit, relief).

  So here I am, finally realising how FRIGGIN HARD this one-page research task is and utilising the notes of Momma and the help of my brainhurt cat and unbothered duck. Very touching how they're both taking their time to help me, all because of how friggin dumb I am.

  So yeah, so much for relax Dota Fridays, F my freaking L.

Focus

  I discover a personal flaw, lack of self-humbleness. Basically, you don't boast to other people, but to yourself, and it's annoying as hell. You only focus on something you've done good in and never how to improve something you haven't done so good in. And you only read back through assignments and exams you nailed but never give others a second glance.

  Shame on you Pigothy.

Life Wanted, Donations Appreciated

  Managed to sneak in a round of Dota here and there, but how long can I last like this ;A;

  I decided to do The Terminal for my belonging related. I'm sorta seeing it, and sorta not. Does that make sense? But I really need to choose one now so here we go Tom Hanks. Keep on forgetting to write Eco notes, and also I'm too cheap to pay $98 for the lecture thing.

Umma: She is having a fling with your cousin
Me: ...(Oh Lordy here we go again)
Oppa: A what?
Umma: A FLING
Oppa: LOL, like that'd ever happen
Umma: Hmm...Why? Is he hot?
Me and Oppa: *shakes heads frantically*
Umma: Ok not interested anymore lol.
Me: My standards are too high.

Tomato and Egg Noodles Recipe

You will Need (SERVES 1):
~1 egg, beaten and lightly salted
~1 regular tomato OR 2 roma tomatoes, cut up into small slices
~Noodles, amount depends on how much you eat.
~4x Fish tofu, quartered
~3T of Tomato Paste (sauce is fine too)
~1T of Seasame Oil
~Salt depending on own taste
~1/2 Spring onion, chopped finely.

~1 small pot
~Chopsticks
~Bowl (to serve)

Let's Cook!

1. Start off by boiling some water, remember, the amount of water must fit all of your ingredients!

2. Turn your fire on low, carefully add in the chopped up tomatoes, let it sit in the boiling pot for about 3 minutes

3. Now turn your fire to medium, add in the noodles and fish tofu, stir lightly as you do so. It's important to remember that you DO NOT put the lid on your pot. Regularly check-up on your noodles and tofu to see if it's fully cooked (you can either taste-test or use the squishing method to tell)

4. Add in the beaten eggs and tomato paste, they will cook and become fluffy quite quickly in the boiling water. Stir occasionally to mix until your soup has a red texture.

5. Once your dish looks obviously edible, turn off the stove and add in the seasame oil and salt (depending on your taste). Stir lightly.

6. Serve your dish into the bowl. Top it with the chopped spring onion.

As Soon As Possible

  I need to get out of here, fast. What makes a home? This certainly doesn't meet the criteria.

Haters gonna hate

  So... some crap went down today D: I don't wanna walk away gameless and compless :( I'm glad Duckie sat through the entire phase with me, much appreciated bro.

  I have mixed thoughts about these teenage suicides, they feel so... incorrect. I dislike myself for having thoughts like this but... all of these deaths could have been prevented! The fault isn't in the bullies, but how the victims handled the situations. Permanent solutions to a temporary problem. So, Amanda Todd? Felicia Garcia? People, let them actually rest in peace for goodness' sake. These people are getting so much unwanted attention from strangers because lifeless randoms seem to actually 'care' about them, after they died. Sigh. Is this the new Kony2012?

  And some guy on Facebook, Tristan Barker. Me severely no gusta. Why do people like these who uses their supposedly perfect grammar in their advantage to harass randoms online? He posts screenshots of him winning arguments against dumb kids. Leave the dumb kids alone lol. What I dislike the most is that he sees himself as some Messiah. I bet he can't win a legit argument with an educated individual in real life, if he actually has a life, that is.

Dramatic Reading

Oh, did I mention Jimface and I are doing dramatic readings of bad mangas?

We finished 2 chaps My Boyfriend is a Vampire.

We're doing Renai Shinjuu, but stopped half way because it's so friggin bad.

Twilight/High School Musical next?

LMFAO.

I need to study ._.

Work

  Ok, I've pretty much spend all these weeks bludging, I need to start studying.

  Started to play LoL~ It's so different and transferring back and forth between the two can be so difficult! The things I do for Mao D:

  Ok, so revise English, Modern, Eco, start extension- looking into topics and stuff. This weekend... I can handle that... I think...

First Week Back

  I've been getting little sleep and being late 4 days in a row, sigh. I'm glad Monday starts with a double free though. I love Mondays. I ordered some pens online and actually filed my stuff and colour-coded them. Stationery shopping really gets one pumped up for studying!

  First week had been pretty chill compared to what will be coming. I got some quality Dota time. Something about this unnerves me though, for example, sleeping at 3am and waking up at 2pm isn't the ideal sleeping pattern I should be having. Today, I got up at 4:45pm and I just wondered to myself HOW THE HECK did I sleep for this long? Where did my Saturday go off to?! Time for weekend alarms to come back D:

  Another thing that unnerves me is that I've been REALLY involving myself into these people on the interwebz (technically they count as mutual friends hence nothing dodgy but still, I haven't actually met them) Half-age plus 7 right? Yeah, no, stahp it guise before I get confused ._. I'm apparently 0.7 years behind.

Holiday Reflection

  EBExpo is so... average, to say the least. Poor Herby and I (who had 3 hours of sleep the night before and has sore eyes from contacts) had to endure long lines and the most horrible disgusting lunch ever. Don't eat at Red Ass next time kids!

  So, my holidays can be concluded as... unproductive but uber fun. Lots of Dota 2, I wonder how I'd be doing without it when school starts tomorrow.

  I met some cool people this holidays. My friend's friend's friends to be specific. Weird huh? I feel like I somehow replaced my friend's friend when it comes to their Dota. And honestly, just HOW THE HELL did I get myself involved with ex-Ruse uni students anyway?!

  A shame i will hardly have any time for games in year 12, sigh, I feel so old. I hope HSC goes well for me.

Sleepover!

  I've calmed down abit now since mum just agreed to pay for my EB Expo ticket. (I'm going with Herby how weird is that?! But he's gay so lol) But I am still extremely concerned about mum's behavior when my awesome friends were over.

  I don't know what's wrong with her but, she seemed to be having some sort of moodswing. Acting all cold and distant (which is rare because shes so OTT-ly nice when I have friends over and I'd always be like 'Y U SO NICE 2 MAH FWENDS N NOT MEH?!') I think she's really feeling dat loneliness after dad went China lol, her mood completely lifts when he Skypes her. Still, she literally passed her Carpet-loving OCD to me and I'm so embarrassed lol.

  I'm also really sad because LarryAmySaraMaoLinJo couldn't make it/wasn't allowed. We ended up Tinychatting them and we went insane doing so dancing around (Christine obsessed with my exercise ball and carpet). Then came pizza-ordering coupon-savaging frenzy, inevitable D&M by the candlelight with hot chocolate and an attempted marathon of Game of the Thrones (weird but cool show). Meow invited me to dota at like 2am and because I give in to peer pressure I did and did until 4. FUUU. At least we owned lol.

  I hope mum cheers up after city tmr, Herby just told me EB tickets are sold out wtf. I need to sort that out.

Chinese Post

不想去了， 付了钱也不去了。这种场合跟本就不是和我。什么裙子，高跟鞋，化妆，做头发，什么玩意儿。呆在家里吃了睡睡了吃比这种破东西要强一百倍。现在头发没做妆没画，根本就没准备好。高跟鞋疼死脚，小破包啥都装不下。妈妈心狠到希特勒程度。什么社交，我宁愿赢一局Dota。

Dota 2 (exam reflection)

  Is possibly ruining my life. Both academically and socially. I hope I get over it in the duration of the holidays. My exam period had been when I was the most procrastinate-y which really bothers me.

English Ext I'm actually not too unprepared because I knew what I was writing down. Sadly I didn't study at all the weekend prior for anything else

Economics Screwed it bad, had no idea what I was writing most of the time. Gonna get 40% for my extended responses. Test had been based on the only chapter I didn't study, eff me.

English Adv Thanks to Dpz I am well-underway when I went into the exam. Asparagus sat next to me on the bus to school but I didn't notice since I was too busy memorising my essays xD

Modern History Again, didn't study on the weekend plus Friday. Started studying at 12am on Sunday and somehow learnt everything Russia-related from that time till 2. On bus to school read through Bismark (sacrificed sleep) and somehow understood it.

Chinese I'm really sad about this one. Forgot an important technique name! And there was a question we had to answer in ENGLISH but I was a clumsy smartass and wrote in CHINESE. Teacher said I won't get zero but definitely not full marks. Mopey all day about it.

Ancient History I took the arvo/night off today, hopefully tomorrow I will be eager to learn about Boudicca, Greek Drama and Pelopenisian something.

WHY CAN'T I JUST STUDY GOSHDAMMIT

ASDKJNFKDNFKSDFNKSDJFNDSKFNKDJSF

I guess Eng EXT was the only thing I'm NOT screwed for.

I literally have NO MOTIVATION to study whatsoever.

Did I mention I didn't even do a practise essay for Othello and a half done essay for Emma?

I'm not even doing stuff like this on purpose or trying to be a cool-kid. I literally can't sit in front of a textbook for five minutes without getting distracted.

Can I just forfeit then?

Phailceik

Pageviews OVER 9000 soon :D

So I didn't end up doing my Utopia Essay like I told myself to ;-; Looks like I have to start bringing laptop to class T____T Stoopid Dota! And TF2 too! It took me five minutes to get used to the controls and the FPS lag, then I owned :D My skills were not lost :'D Plus playing alil CSS helped alot with my aim!

I finished buying B 4 L, now that's a heapload off my brain.

But mainly, studying, get on to it you baka!

Moar Reflections

  Firstly, I did manage to finish Dystopia this afternoon, and turnitin didn't end up letting me, thank you God ;u; I really should be doing more essays but meh, Dota. Next week hopefully I won't procrastinate as much.

  Tomorrow is the last day we're gonna do sport, ever. Can you believe it? Also today is Father's day and I had to improvise the gift since I forgot. I ended up making a string of cranes with cartoon versions of dad and I on them ;u;

  I've realised, what happened before camp... I think it's entirely my fault. Looking back at some old Facebook posts and emails I realised hey, Selena, you were such a bitch to everyone lulz. So there, there's no point in asking me to forgive unless it's myself. I don't hate anyone right now and do not hold grudges against anyone either. They should all be blaming me :D

[puzzle solving time audience]

1. You are so quick to forgive and forget I envy your awesome capabilities. Without you I'd still be depressed as hell right now, all the time.

2. You always puzzle me, but are lovable nonetheless. Class feels different without you around because I've grown so used to having you around.

3. You've always been cherished (<3) by me from the beginning, You always make me LOL and yeah, saranghae ;u;

4. You are so nice! WTF! Why do you exist D:< Bladder.

5. You're so perverted it makes me wuv you, end of comment. You're a cheapass asian.

6. Are you still angry with me? You scare me sometimes. I've decided to not to interact with you for the rest of this year because you have all those other friends who treat you better than me. I'm sorry.

7. I look up to you.

 [end of puzzle solving time]

propose 2 me pls

Body, Y U NO BE STRONG?!

  It would have been a perfect weekend for me if you weren't such a damn asshole! I went UTS Open Day (Thug Life, everyone else was at USYD) and it was sah awesome :D Lukey I don't understand why you think the interior is ugly because that ugly tower building has such a pretty inside :D Mum went crazy over the free popcorn and ate like 3 bags lolol. I went to the communication seminar and OMG I want to do a combined degree with International Studies now :<< What happened to your resolute determination huh Selena?!??!! But that ATAR is like 98 so I was like Fudge that :yaomingfacepicturedright:

  Afterwards I went shopping with mum and we went past Superdry and I reminded her of my lifelong goal of owning a Superdry clothing item which she denied about a year ago. Then she was like :yaomingface: and bough t me a pretty blouse (unfortunately my hoodie request was crushed because of the whole clothing girlification thing). Then I took her to Paparoti and ate the most interesting/delicious combination of Sticky Rice and Black Seasame flavoured ice-cream ._. Then after a Moochi trip ("What's so good about this not-exactly yogurt not-exactly icecream thing?!" - Mum) That's when my health began to deteriorate and I got hit with a headache. When we arrived home dad insisted on Family Time so I couldn't go bed and the next morning I expected myself to recover but this small area left side of my head just kept on pumping like a heart so i stayed in bed until approximately 50 minutes ago ._. And no, it never did stop hurting so I hope dat Panadol kicks in soon.

  I have my Modern to final-proofread and VD to finish, wish me luck (jks I need to play alil Dota and be disappoint to family)

Clean Slates

  This blog had reached 7800+ views :D But unlike those youtube kids, for me this means my privacy will be violated greatly, ONOES.

  I finished my Modern Investigation yesterday and sent it in for final proofreading. My Visual Design is half done and I haven't started on Dystopia assignment and various other English essays. I'm coming along nicely I suppose (still got dat time for games).

  My flute teacher and I had a talk about my crappy study habits today. Next term I'm chucking out my folder, going encouragement-stationery-and-book shopping and wipe my dirty slate clean. Since this year I've pulled myself together in terms of concentrating in class and managing time better for assignments (hopefully, don't kill me with hate guise) next term (year 12) I will put that icing on the cake and start being a normal SG kid and doing lots extra reading/practise essays for a top-notch ATAR score. Sounds good? I think so too, if I can actually get around to doing these things...

Stupid House Rules

So we have this stupid house rule of not allowing to shower after sunset. And it sucks because it feels like I'm the only one this rule applies to. Today I has dat time of the month plus I missed shower yesterday because of this rule and I was denied from my shower rights. Sigh. Time to stink like shit tomorrow.

Fail School

  So I got 11/20 for Eco, DEVODEVO, but it seems everyone around me are fairly encouraging about it so I will strive to do better.

  I have all my English practise essays left to do. 3 of them, ALL THREE OF THEM! But I really don't know what I'm writing at this stage.

  My double histories are coming along alright-ish. Modern Assignment still left to do, must devote entire tomorrow to do it.

  Chinese test result had been unpleasant, time to actually start concentrating.

  I played Dota in a 5-stack today, I was really self-blaming throughout the whole thing because I feel like I'm letting the team down. They didn't exactly mind until I started feeding during the third game. CM is squishy okay.

I had a talk

  With muddah about my seemingly immature problems, she told me to wait it out so I decided to do just that and hope that things turn for the better.

  In other news that ANU thing is such a 'Oh stop it you' thing.

Le Gasp

  I just realised that I have fanfiction I need to update, NERRGHGHGHGHHGHGGHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG.

What Kind of father...

  Tells his daughter to go die and actually means it?

  I'm cut and upset.

I'm (kind of) an asshole.

Only to you aahahaaheheoheoheoheoehoehoeheo. Much love. Please don't take it to heart, this person is totally in denial.

~

~

Here's a MaoPony for mah Maozerkunism.

WE DID IT!

  Kind of... It looked close enough to the original and I have to give DML a pat on the back for that.

  I learned how to play crystal maiden on dota, I actually got first blood with her :O

  Maybe I'm better off as a support than ganker or carry.

  I'm tired, yawn!

It's Over Finally

  So my dreaded Thursday has finally passed. Naturally I got 10/10 for Chinese orals which I wing all the time (I should stop doing that it's so arrogant). But for economics... I'm pure angry. Why? All that study time wasted into 2 mere pages (but apparently my writing is tiny as hell so it's like 3 pages for normal person) and quotes are all stuffed up. I wish I can drop eco, but I friggin can't because I can't possibly handle double histories in year 12, I don't know anyone who does double histories either.

  So after playing Dota2 like a noob on my well deserved(or maybe not-so-well-deserved) break I decided that I will manage my time wisely for the next assignments.

  I can't wait till Saturday, fun fun fun fun. Thank you DKMCLY, I no longer feel the way I did in the picture below.

FFFFUUUUUDDDGGGGGEEEEEE

YOU POO, STUDY, GO STUDY NOW, GET OFF BLOGGER, GET OFF YOUTUBE, GET OFF STEAM OR WHATEVER AND STUDY! YOU PROCRASTINATE TOO MUCH! THAT SHIT'S DUE ON THURSDAY! AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! 600 WORDS FOR ANCIENT AND NONE FOR ECO, YOU ARE LIKE SO FREAKING URGGHHHHHHH.

Craptastic Saturday

  The only good news being the arrival of Dota2. So I went out with my mum and it was all awesome and fun until we decided to go watch a movie. I really wanted to see the Amazing Spiderman so I spoke very clearly to the ticket lady can we see the session at 3:30 but then she's like, you mean 3:40? We thought the time got changed or something so we nodded and like the idiots we are we didn't check the ticket because it was so suspicious.

  It's funny because we're already 20 minutes into the movie but there's no appearance of Andrew Garfield or Emma Stone. Instead everyone was ranting about the city of Gotham and that was when I realised something had been terribly wrong.

  The dumb bitch ticket chick screwed us over.

  It was a great movie, don't get me wrong, mum likes the fact that so many celebrities she knew are in it and because I've never really watched a Batman movie I was kinda excited to get into the hype as well. However, as good as the movie gets it ran for 3 hours straight and in the duration we missed alot of calls from dad. So he started raging like the immature selfish bastard that he is and naturally mum starts blaming me for it. And then I realised I forgot to turn my heater on for the whole day and got even more busted.

  What's worse? STILL stuck on Ancient History and haven't started Eco studying yet (that I'm not stuck on thank goodness). Procrastination really gets to you when all you wanna do is to game and watch dramas.

I have a new blog

http://arrowsatetargets.blogspot.com.au/

For all my writings, so that my phone can finally get a nice well-deserved break :)

Larina you bish, if you're reading this, ily.

Rishab go away, jks.

Still Procrastinating

  I should be doing work all weekend! But what did I do? Play games, buy games, play more games. I have to cure this gaming addiction and get on with life. I have stupid Ancient Modern to do and I have no clue how to continue. Luckily it's just them to I hope I end up coolbeans.

  We have Civi day on Thursday, I'll be going as something hinted above, a hardcore gamer. Gonna have hair in ugly pigtails, wear those cinema glasses, have HUUUUGGGEEE eyebags (hopefully someone can lend me some makeup since I own none and probably will never own any), my cod shirt and combat pants(or pajamas, we'll see). I am going to make a PS3 controller cardboard cutout and wear it around my neck. I'll change when I get to school of course, it's embarrassing walking around looking like that. My childhood dream is so pathetic.

Just kind of a Loser all the way

My words and actions have ruined my whole life.


Kindergarten: I don't remember what I did exactly, but I think I dobbed in this girl and she told the whole grade to hate me, and they dis. Effing douchebags. The teachers loved me though.

Years 1-2: In China still. Good grades and got da boyz (so humble) but this chick 'stole' my best friend away from me and so I ended up hanging with the guys. Got elected class president but once the teacher left the room and told us not to take everyone started talking, I told them to shut up and when the teacher asked who talked the whole class said I did and the teacher instantly gave my position to this other girl. Effing douchebags. Parents remarried other people and turns out my dad's side didnt want me because I'm a girl. They threw me out like trash and mum took me to Aus.

Year 3, Penshurst- I was the new fob kid in school and I didnt speak English. Made friends with Ciccy and Helen and Joanna and Denise. It was the best term ever. Sadly I had to move schools and they don't even remember me :(

Year 3-6, Mortdale- Yeah, no offense but, the whole grade sucks shit. I didn't feel welcomed at all and because I decided to befriend this girl I ended up a loner till end of year 6. I was severely bullied and the guy I liked called me a crappy piece of crap and asked to 'be friends'. Friendzoned! I'm not gonna lie it was hell. Some people were really awesome though. Effing Douchebags. Luckily I had friends at tutoring and my fake cousin and Sah was always there for me.

Years 7-8, this is my own fault. I was kind of a retard. I met lots of AWESOME people from church. My fake cousin's mum and my mum got into a fight and he had to move away. Still kind of a loner at school but as I said it was my fault. I wrote fanfiction, liked Naruto and Fahrenheit. And then I met Oppa :)

Year 9, best year ever. I had a group, I got really close with two people. I started hanging at lowers and I got in Senior Vocal and went biig on OZ, unfortunately my grades started to drop and got a crazy admirer. Got into multimedia and K-Pop.


Year 10, fell out with OZ crowd. The two girls from last year drifted by the end. Had a misunderstanding with one of my close friends and it ruined my everything. I started getting unwanted attention from people in the grade and it gave me minor paranoia because I think everyone talks about me behind my back. Met an amazing guy. I don't like him in that way(despite what everyone else says) Got to go China with Lily! Got acne dammit.


Year 11-Present, what can I say? Firstly I turned into a hardcore gamer. It started off great when I befriended some transfers and had alot of fun at lunchtimes and after school trains. When I moved houses I started being late like everyday and I drifted from old friends. Then... That happened and things were never quite the same again. Luckily people were there for me and I'm loving these people, idk if they love me (probably annoyed at me, paranoia strikes). I met LARINA and that was when I realised I found my soulmate(friendship). Then only recently I started talking with Rish and he is coolbeans. Gotten fat and eyesight worsened. In conclusion, things have been rough and I hope they turn for better. Now time for some DD. I have another 72 character now lol. 5 altogether.

Someone buy me Skyrim and I'll be a Happy Chap

  Steam store is such a bitch, they put DR2OTR on sale while I was at school and as Larina and I furiously fumbled and contacted mums in order to buy it her phone batts died and that's the end of our story.

  First day of school, I can never fall asleep straight away the night before even though I'm not looking forward to it. I actually thought it was Monday and spent ages looking for my Ancient class and then ended up being late.

  I think I'm starting a new blog for my stories so I can stop writing on iPhone Notes and so I can also encourage myself to update Fanfiction more.

  We had an in-depth discussion about Fifty in English today, I swear our teacher loves it zomg, she kept on defending it and calling it Deep and Meaningful while the rest of the class dissed it.

I hate my memory

  So I spent just about the entirety of this year looking forward to Smash

  Turns out it wasn't August like my stupid memory remembered, but TODAY.

  My cosplay shall rot away in my wardrobe and my poor artist friends will not receive the promised help they need.

  Fudge.

PreKBBQ and FiftyShades

About ten more minutes until this train gets To Strathfield. I went Retail Therapy w/ le mumzilla yesterday and she kept on going on about the way I dress is cheap and ungirly and poceeded to buy these clothes I never really pictured myself in. But today as I strutted out in what she expects me to be wearing as I grow older I don't feel too bad. I'm seeing the Fifty Shades Trilogy everywjere, this mumporn has become a virus, so I challenged myself into reading it. Smut not half as bad as some of the fanfictions I've read. Sadly the author's style of writing is such a turn-off. Nowhere near as great as, say, John Green? This is why if you ever write some Mrated stupid Twilight fanfiction you don't freaking change the names of everyone, publish it as a pornbook and watch as the world go crazy over it. So, quoting my dear Augustus Waters, I will 'withhold all judgement' until I finish the final book. Not that I'm not judging it already. A proper review shall come then.

I wish I had relatively interesting things to blog about

  But I don't, except for the fact that I haven't started my double history assignments so I'm absolutely screwed, but that's okay, they say stress causes your productivity to increase dramatically.

  I didn't go out anywhere except some random business outing with mum this holidays either. I felt like I just spent the entirety of it gaming, eating and staring at my ceiling. I didn't feel like asking anyone out either, not without my beloved wallet.

  Instead, please enjoy this screenshot of my Pyro's loadout, it's shitty and Strangeless unlike my medic's, deal with it.

 

  Meh, MILA

BARF

  I blame it on the excessive amounts of Dungeon Defending. What can I say? I need to help mah Squire to reach level 74 ;A; And Apprentice Santa to level 78 so I beat Larina ;AA;

 So yeah I was in bed for an entire day and barely recovered approximately an hour ago. I barfed out whatever my parents tried to feed me and oh dear Lord it had been a horrible experience that made me reevaluate my lifestyle habits. So don't ever sleep late and feed yourself hordes of junk food kids, or you may just end up like me from yesterday.

M-M-M-M-Marathon

  So after I finished Once upon a Time I figured I needed something else to watch. Since everybody else seemed so hyped over Revenge I decided that mum and I would give it a go.

  First things first, Daniel looks too old (or maybe Victoria's just too young-looking) to be Victoria's son, and there aren't any hot guys worth swooning in the series. Nolan would have to be my bias because he's got dat dry humor, is an absolute nerd and unlike Jack isn't a stereotypical 'good guy'. I spent the whole time being like 'Oh Nolan you so cute' in the non-crush way. A shame his gay tendencies (especially with Tyler, ew) became a harmartia.

  And because I've been so busy having TV Streaming Marathons I really need to 1. Catch up on gaming, 2. Do double history assignments and 3. Get a social life, find someone to go buy some games and buy new wallet with.

  I'd also like to touch on the concept of being 'Friendzoned'. What's the big deal? I love making jokes about it all the time but I don't think it's a zone a guy can never get out of. I mean sometimes you'd think 'Ew this guy and I will never be together, but I do like him as a friend' and let your feelings stay that way but I knew plenty of best friends turn lovers couples so lemme help you up all those fallen comrades :')

Le Maobus

Title is somewhat relevant... I think. Because after school I got to hang with the Dictator and right now I'm suffering from bloatedness on the bus. STOP APOLOGISING!

[REVIEW] Snow White and the Huntsman

  Mum took me out on Saturday to cure my post wallet-losing counselor-seeing depression. She literally splurged out on me and took me to Max Brenner's for a crazy choc-feeding session. Followed by a Gold-Class movie experience. We saw Snow White and the Huntsman. Gold Class has these classy leather recliner seats and some kid sitting in front of me has a rich dad who bought him all this fancy schmancy food on silver plates that costs like $20 each. His nomming noises are so distracting, and he's gonna get fat.

  And because I haven't reviewed stuff for a while and this movie really gets me thinking, here's my bratty review.

0mG wE tOtAlLy LoVe AnImAlzz

  Snow White and the Huntsman is a dark, Tim Burton-style interpretation of the original fairy tale. Starring the emotionally-lacking Kristen Stewart, the drop-dead hot Charlize Theron and the Thor-riffic Chris Hemsworth. I've been wanting to watch it since the first ad came out and blocked my Youtube watching experience.

  This dumbass king got lucky and married a beautiful queen and they loved each other very very much and then a baby came out and she's got lips red as blood and skin white as snow and all that shenanigan. That queen then faced her inevitable death. The king got lonely and found a hot chick in a wagon. He married her the next day which is totally legal and romantic back in ze day, she must have thought he's too ugly for her and so on the wedding night she stabbed him in his sleep, opened the gates and let in her dark minions to start allyourbasearebelongtous-ing.

  Now this queen is actually an old woman with a power to stay young forever by sucking the youth essence out of hot chicks' faces and energy out of hot guys' hearts. Her power also grants her other advantages like healing other people and throwing stuff around the room. She discovers that her powers are waning because Snow White (whom she imprisoned instead of killing/sucking, idiot.) had grown up to be more beautiful than she is (bullshit, Kristen Stewart is ugly as hell) so she set out to finally kill her and consume her heart.

You ain't got no alibi

  Now Miss Ugly Snow White here is actually a real fighter with real stamina even though she's been in some dark dungeon for ten years. She miraculously escapes and the queen sends out a middle-aged widowed Huntsman after her. The film follows her Hero's Journey in defeating the queen and claiming the throne for herself.

  Besides the problem with the casting, I also have problems with the romance lines within the film. When Snow got poisoned by the apple and died her childhood friend William kissed her goodbye and the audience expects her to come back to life. However, she didn't. It was only after the Huntsman kissed her when he was drunk did she revive. I'm pretty sure the fairy tale ended with a true-love's kiss, so is the movie saying that he's her true love? Let me get some things straight here... while Chris Hemsworth can be cute if he wants to, he is like, middle-aged with a dead wife! Snow White can't be more than 18/19! They are promoting pedophilia! Since I'm studying Emma and Emma ended up marrying Knightly who's 37 the Huntsman looked like he's in his 40s! That scene came out completely wrong for me.

Dafuq did I just watch

  Snow White's death scene also had problems. It not only caused an abrupt end to her journey which took effing forever it also magically transported the crew safe and soundly back to the King's friend's stronghold? It made the entire journey pointless! The director must have ran out of time in order to justify the whole point of the journey. Also, the Sanctuary scene with all the pretty quirky creatures seemed pretty pointless as well. It had been a nice break away from the Dark Themes but not enough to make me like it.

  Complaints about unjustified scenes aside, the camerawork and the special effects had been realistic and well-done. The queen's rapid-aging and quick-healing had been extremely realistic and suspenseful. I also liked the part where the queen reminisced about her past and how her powers and evilness came to be. A shame it only took a minute of screentime when it should definitely deserve more than the scenes in the paragraph above.

  Overall, I give this movie a 6/10. Parts I disliked ultimately surpassed the parts I did like.

Please don't kill me fans.

Down

  I wish I had a time machine.

  Sometimes it's the little actions you take that makes a huge difference, whether it be positive or negative.

  For example, if I hadn't fallen asleep on the bus I never would have ended up in castle towers and had to walk back home. If I haven't craved for pepero on the way I would never have taken my wallet out and checked if I had enough money. I would never have carelessly shoved it back afterwards and kept on walking. At the intersection I would never take out my scarf causing my wallet to fall on the ground. I should have put my ipod back so I heard the wallet drop. I should have noticed how the lady across from me and the guy in the car looked at me peculiarly. I should have at least looked back instead of continuing to walk.

  I would never have ended up depressed and missing out on school today if I never moved houses.

Re-vamping le Blogger

Starting with the angsty posts that started it all. Deleting al that and adding interesting content.

Camp sucked and depressed me

At least everyone else had a good time.

I don't wanna go camp

But staying at home will mean that I will argue with my parents on a half-hour basis.

A Dictator told me to Blog more Often

  So I shall.

  Am I the only person not looking forward to camp? Probably because of all the bullshit that happened and the fact that I don't want to waste a perfectly good Sunday of DD and SR3 by spending it with people I don't love(with a significant amount of people that I DO love, like our beautiful Dictator over here).

  I DO however look forward to Korean BBQ and Yoogi(inside joke). Trouble is it's really hard for me to get there from this secluded area I'm in, damn!

  Platform 25 seemed to have changed so much when i went back today, besides from being overpopulated as usual I got to see Pooface (while some other people ignored me and decided that the early train is more important, pfft love you too)

  Because I know that Amy reads this blog, HI AMY <3

Bludge

  So I spent my whole long weekend playing Dungeon Defenders, its flashy graphics made my eyes twice blind lol. But look here, level 70 Apprentice and level 56 Squire meant that my 16 hours of playtime had not been wasted xD Ah, wonders of powerlevelling, thanks dude.

  At least I did manage to do my Economics homework. Still didn't do VD though, nearly forgot about that!

Terminate Angsty

That's it, blog is officially fill of crap now. I've been getting too mopey for my own good.

Watching Waiting Dreaming Praying

  *Ahem* so this new house sure ain't doing me much favor in terms of life and health. I hope I can stop being sick on important days x.x

  I bought Saints Row 3 on Sale on Steam, knowing my computer will not be able to handle the graphics (who the hell uses an Intel graphics card anyway? I thought it came with a Radeon...) and I knew it, it was an awesome game until I saved it and it will not load for me ever again, sigh. I'm planning to install it for the big comp downstairs where a powerful graphics card is fitted then I can go crazy ahaha.

  Good new is that Magicka now works after I tweaked the resolution, horray! Turns out someone wants to buy my rares on OZ for real money, 50 USD! Heck yeah...

  So besides gaming I spent my weekend doing nothing. I met a new friend and I serenaded them with my crappy skills at the Ukulele.

  So apparently this blog has gotten too angst-y, um, why did the chicken cross the road?

LDR

  So my friend fell out of a long-distance relationship today. I never actually knew they were in one, so it was abit hard to handle all at once. I wanted to tell them how stupid they are for trusting the internet in the first place. To me LDRs are stupid. They're super awesome... IF THEY WORK OUT like it did with another friend. But otherwise they suck ballz.

  Do I even need to go deeper into this? Firstly, the interwebz is full of crap. Secondly, you don't know anything about them in real life and what if they're cheating on you you'll never know. Finally, just the general untrustworthiness of it all. They say distance strengthens friendships, not relationships i tell ya.

  I found out something awesome about a person today. Their awesomeness now has doubles, tripled, even. It's such an awesome thing! Steam bonding!

Severe

  So I didn't end up going to school today. I first thought this queasy feeling in my stomach had just been me wanting to sleep in, turns out, life is worse than expected.

  Guess what I got diagnosed with today? Something so damn embarrassing you can't go see the doctor to get it examined? No it's not an STI, what is it? Yes! Bingo! Those who guessed Hemorrhoids had been correct!! I'm now a stage one (maybe even two?!) Hemorrhoid patient. You think I had it bad when I had Pityriasis Rosea? This is way worse and I hope it'll go away with my now hi-fibre diet and newfound fear of bathrooms. If you don't know what the H-word is, please don't Google it! Don't want to be shocked with embarrassing images now.

  TBH I really don't want to go to school tomorrow.

Gaming

  Realm of the Mad God- what Larina and I spent our entire weekend doing like the losers we are. Both my LVL20 Awesomely Expensively equipped Priest and Wizard died (there's not respawning in the game) and so that basically meant my entire weekend had been wasted. Also bought Saints Row 2 with her so yeah, now I know what Imma do next weekend lol.

Void

  OMGWTFBBQ I choked on water and thought I was gonna die just then lol.

  I apologise for my previous uber-emo suicidal-letter-like post, I wasn't feeling very well. Not well at all actually. Barfing my eyes out didn't feel too good and I swear I felt my snot block my breathing and I thought I'm gonna suffocate.

  If you are SOSing, and you only have enough strength to contact one single person, who's the first person you'd call? During that incident for odd reasons I only had one single person in mind. It was really scary because half of the people on that contact list of mine cannot be trusted and wore creepy masks to disguise their hideous selves. Larina had been on Skype with me and she didn't know what to do, sorry my wuv I got you so hyperventilated and probably ruined your sleep :(

  So anyway, it's funny how trust comes into all of this, and that moment I did only trust one single person whom I guaranteed will pick up immediately and would somehow solve the problem. I don't usually call unless it's an emergency so it was also awkward for me.

  So had the problem been solved? Not completely. People whom don't deserve to exist anymore than I thought I did still roamed about freely on Earth. But the fact that I'm not wasting tears over such a stupid matter or that I'm not resorting to desperate, uber-mean methods is always a start

  Does that make sense?

  Dear readers from around the world, have you ever had problems with dogs of the female variety?

Exclusion

Feels like a shotgun to the head, only I haven't exactly experienced a shotgun to the head, but it looks like it'll hurt... alot.

Cliffhangers and how to Assume

  Reading manga (instead of studying) again and left myself cliffhanger'd. So damn upsetting. Larina got to have a decent conversation with this youtuber she admired and they added her on steam, I wish one day I can have the guts to talk to those gamers I admired. Back on the topic, people who assume...

  Step One, assume, obviously. I had to deal with assuming my whole life. Bitchdad ASSUMING I'd be fine with being disowned when he got re-married. Grandparents ASSUMING I'd be fine with being given out like money to my mum. People ASSUMING this blog is about them. Assuming is like telling yourself something has happened, when 90% of the time it hasn't.

  Step Two, accuse. You've got your reasons, time to suss that person out. Send them a troll formspring question, maybe. And hurt their guts out, you know what I mean.

  Step Three, there is no step three. You'll probably be in jail then. Everytime you assume something relating to someone that someone dies alittle bit on the inside. When they die because of you you'll be a murderer, and you'll go to jail (American spelling ftw).

  OKAY SORRY NO MORE TIME FOR ME TO STUDY.

Imperfection

Severe acne, check. Plagued Teeth, check. Fat n Flab, check. Horrible eyesight, check. Most likely waxy ears, check. Hate my body, hate life.

That feeling when...

  First things first, I think I completely screwed up English advanced. Not because the questions were hard but I ran out of time due to so many mishaps in between (pen ink ran out... whiteout being stupid then subsequently ran out... etc). Although at least I do feel relieved after walking out. You can't exactly study for something like English, it's common sense and what you already know and how you utilise it, sucks.

  Secondly I went abit crazy on Ebay again. On a whim I bought meself a white ukulele. Those cheap ones just in case I break it (highly likely) while attempting to play. I bought it because I want to sing. Also alot of winter accessories because they're a dollar in Hong Kong, whoo for cheap asian stuffz.

  Thirdly, I haven't started my double Histories. Luckily you don't exactly STUDY STUDY for that either, hope I can make notes on time. I feel slightly uncomfortable with the two so far. But why aren't I studying if this 'I'm screwed' feeling is plaguing me?

  Lastly, and actually on topic, I don't want people reading this blog to assume anything. I write, I vent, I be abstract and subtle. Sometimes a bunch of emotions materialize into one imaginary character. What if the whole blog was a big fat lie and people believed in it this whole time?

Gossiping

  It's something we all do involuntarily, some of us, against our will or consciousness.

  So I got to participate in a bitching session recently, forealz not assumed or framed this time, about a girl who I thought was my friend and I really liked her and I still do.

  The thing is, I am very uncomfortable throughout the whole conversation while everyone else chattered on like it was a casual talk. I don't think this kind of girly conversation suit me, I'd rather bust some heads in a first person shooter. It makes me very sad when friends turn on eachother and do all this backstabbing *dramatic tears*. OH GOSH I SOUND SO PRETENTIOUS, but hey, it's true. Girls should all like, play cod and rid of their troubles in a 1v1 match. Doesn't this secret telling tire us all? I remember how my stepdad now solves things between us, he invites me to MW2 and let me pwn him so we all feel better.

  What else? I got to central super early today by pure fluke my bus arrived way too early for dis peak hour thing. I have matching scarves with whatshisface and it's awkward. I also have to get up super early 6am tomorrow for the first time and I hope I can continue this schedule for the following Wednesdays. I drew a meme on the back of my folder, it looks cool.

Schedule

  Why is time so packed? Today felt so unproductive but then again how did I occupy myself for eight whole hours?

  Not only did I not study for AncientModern I didn't even play any TF2 or write any fanfics or anything. My new schedule sure is hectic, 6:55am in the morning just ain't the right time for me.

  So you know what that means? Bedtime, Selena, get off 9gag.

I missed you

I certainly do NOT like the new blogger layout though. Anyways guise INTERNET IS FINALLY BACK BOOYAH! So obviously I didn't get off the computer since I got home from school. But guess what? I've been SO PRODUCTIVE without the internet I've so far done all my homework, summarise my studying, read 15 books (and bought three, books are so damn expensive!) and watched stuff on my harddrive. I never knew how much I can cope without internet.

Moving's been alright. Really annoying the first few days when things aren't settled, well, they still ain't. We have no couch and dining table and wont be having either until June. Somehow sitting on the floor/old chairs for everything ain't exactly appealing.

I left Blogger till last in my To-Do's when internet comes back. Thing is I have to position my laptop right next to the door in order to get (2 measly bars) of signal out of Six. If I leave my comp on my designated comp table I don't get any signal because mum has kindly moved the modem to her study downstairs separated by 2 rooms. Sorry if I'm being boring, there are so many things to say and so little bother-ness.

I thought I liked my Modernist Story, but apparently according to everyone else it sucks, naw. I have to get up half an hour early and take a 1hr bus to Wynyard (it takes too long to central), take a train from there so I'm close to the school stops. On the way back I walk to the other side of the station and catch a bus from there. I've been having pass issues because the stoopeed office lady told me to apply for a government one and it ended up NOT WORKING and I was charged DW though I reported ON THE SPOT to their damned company for an explanation on why the hell he charged me when I'm a student new to the damned hole of an aera. No streetlamps at night and comparatively a long walk to the bus stop. Plus standing up the whole way on the bus back, at least transport's pretty frequent and Castle Towers is pretty chill.

Anyway, are you still reading? Please don't, I'm being boring and life-recounting right now. How good is Fault in our Stars by John Green? Couldn't forget about Augustus. Poor guy, I hate it when the hot male protagonist (SPOILER ALERT) dies off (END SPOILER ALERT)

Stuck

I was supposed to hand in my Modernist Essay by this weekend, but sadly I have a feeling I'll never end up doing it.

Oh yeah, I'm completely and utterly stuck and frustrated and bored out of my mind. The house is a mess from all that packing up and I'm realising that I've lost heaps of shiz in the process.

Halp.

Male Population Overview

  I will miss him, even his group of funny/retarded friends on the train. As much as my friends complain and nag about it I won't deny it. Yeah he's pretty good to me since our fight, but it felt too unreal to be true and instead of thinking about butterflies I think of a cockroach. QQ always complains about how I'm such a bitch to him, it was payback for a year ago when things were the other way around. When time takes its toil it'll all be back to normal. At least I have fun around him despite the pressure right? I saw him this morning and it was awks so I guess someone misses out on their goodbye hug. And if QQ is reading this, GO AWAY IT WILL NEVER WORK OUT OKAY STOP HOPING.

  Chocolate biscuit and even Oppa can go eat shit. Oh yeah, I said it. Just sit there and ignore me, superficial bastards. I bet you're wondering OMG this chick had idolized this guy for years now she's telling him to eat shit the world's gonna end but well, I am never ever gonna see him again and I have nothing to lose. Some day I hope he'll eventually find out the stuff I've done for him and maybe he'll feel bad about it later... later...

  What about C.B. then? Besides pushing me away and acting annoyed with me there's nothing I wanna add about him. He hasn't changed, I just have a different perspective on his arrogance and constant attempts to pick up more girls. If he doesn't give a flying crap about me then neither will I. We can have mutual antipathy (suck on that English).

  Funny how all three of these peepz I've liked at some point in my life, and funny how they all turn out to be the same. Liking someone sounds... slightly unrealistic now. And if you mention asparagus come on now it's purely for the looks that QQ denied. Maybe I can hook up with someone in uni when everything starts anew, and that can wait. I used to dream about getting a boyfriend or something in high school and at the end of every year I hope/am sure of the fact that I can find one the next year. I guess that never worked out huh?

  I've been growing increasingly self-conscious as of late. Increase of pimples/fat on face, chin, neck, chest and belly equals to total depression. I'm sick of those 'SHES GOT GOOD FIGURE' remarks when I'm kind of fat all over, even mum calls me ugly everyday. Luckily I maintained skinny arms and baggy dressing style to hide this monstrosity. I don't want to end up with some eating disorder (ha, asif I love my food) or skin disease (ewww).

  Here's some D&M/PMS for ya kiddos.

Such hard work

  Moving, that is. And new layout BTW even more elegant now.

  Firstly I did end up succumbing to the temptations of TF2 and not do my Modernist thing, guess I couldn't get away with it since my teacher scolded us for not living up to the 'senior standard' I told her I can't give it to her asap because I kind of have work till 12 (someone has to feed the family and the impossible mortgage costs ya' know) and she gave me an extra day. Plus my 'holidays' are loaded with homework and studying.

  Secondly WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE SHIFTS AFTER THE TENTH?! Do they expect me to go work after an hour's drive and waste all that hard-earned money on petrol?! HELLO?! I RESIGNED!

  Thirdly, change of address, for, like, everything. I thought once I do school forms then it's over but noooo got a billion membership cards to fill out x.x

  Fourthly, we are gonna install new floorboards/do new paintjobs to the house. So I'll have to make do on a freaking mattress, lack of internet and a suitcase full of everyday essentials for a freaking week. Until the 17th at the best. 5 days  before school starts. I blame it on the lawyer in charge and I hope he steps on a thumbtack next time he goes out.I think Lord wants me to use this time to study my brains out.

  Additionally, of course there's transport issues. Waking up and getting out of the house 20 minutes earlier ain't too attractive of a deal, nor is the half an hour late getting home thing.

  Finally, packing and furnishing. I CBF doing anything ATM, except game, do essay and sleep. I also want a single bed for my room but mum wants it in her study so she can work and sleep at the same time WTF, I need a single bed for the space since my room's gonna be ten times smaller.

  All sad things aside let's talk about something I look forward to more. I want glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and I want a wall painted Orange/Purple/Black/Gray and then put my posters on that wall or install a pretty wall shelf. But I don't think my preferences are highly prioritised by the family insertsadfacehere.

  Anyway, I'll blog about something else about 5mins later.

Um...

  Firstly, I spent my whole weekend doing my stupid Modernism essay but guess what? I wrote about two words altogether, yet still didn't get to play TF2, what's wrong with me honestly. At least I did get a nice start on my Change Creative Writing.

  Moving got moved again, this time 12th and final. While I do appreciate such convenience I realised that I will no longer be able to catch that fateful afternoon train. I really wanted to tell whatshisface considering how he knows nothing about anything. But I realised after about 10 ignored skype messages that he doesn't give a shit about me, and will never do.

  So after bidding my 'Goodbye Forever' talks casually I'm actually really depressed on the inside. TBH, I wanted to cry and hug everyone and like, leave. IDK. I hope I can live up to my promises of crashing Irene's every Friday and see my friends, that would be pretty cool. Oh wait, Irene lives on a different line FML. Maybe we could walk from Hurzy or something.

  I'll do all that later. Cheesy farewells and shit. Plenty o time before that to just calm down and think.

Worries

  There are many times in life where I worry for whatever might happen next, and eventually these worries turn out to be fine. And I know that they all end up nicely, but when worries come nomatter how wise I was about it before all that maturity turn into dust and I start hyperventilating again.

  What are my recent worries you ask?

  My moving of houses had officially been delayed to one day before the start of Term 2. The lawyer guy is a serious douchebag, I dislike him for ruining our plans. Moving means lack of knowledge of my local area, lack of internet and lack of friends. It also means lack of oppa or even asparagus to stare at dreamily.

  I forgot to write down my work schedule for this week, and I think I might have missed one or two shifts. Luckily I called up to tell them today and apparently I haven't since most of my shifts are on weekends now, but how come I only have a Saturday shift then? I guess I'm resigning anyway so it doesn't matter?

  Assignments and assessments, oh dear Lord. I barely started on any of my English tasks and haven't even read my Modernism related text book yet.

  Columbia university, can I really get in? Is it really so expensive it'll give me a lifetime debt? I really wanna go for undergrad though...

  Rantings over for now, maybe I'll think of more in the future.

  Also, I LOVE Simple Plan I forgot how much I loved them since I started listening to K-pop but oh my I'm onto them again and I'm hooked. To think I don't even know their names.

Aish

  Firstly, let me start this blog by listing some movies that I have to freaking watch or I would die of longing:

1. Chronicle AHMAGAWD
2. Hunger Games AHMAGAWD
3. Snow White and the Huntsman AHMAGAWD
4. Heaps more I STILL haven't gotten around to watching.

  Anyway, I have V.D Chronicle cover due and still have no idea how to go about it. So many ideas cramped inside my head dunno which ones to use. The theme had been bad enough aiyah.

  I've been pretty sick on Friday but I was told to go school at 8:30. For once I'm not late right, but guess what? THE BUS DIDN'T COME. I hate punchbowl buses even more now. So after I got scolded by Ms for the first time I'm in one of the crappiest mood ever until my awesome Modern teacher let me have a sleep in class while everyone else watched a vid because I'm sick and stuff.

  Enough ranting, I got HW JOKES IM PLAYING TF2

*COUGH*

  I'm sick. And by sick I don't mean a headache and sore throat like I usually have. But sick as in I have a horrible cold, a runny nose and non-stop coughs. Now, the last time I was sick like this had been all the way back in year 8. So it takes a long time getting used to. Especially when I can't talk, since I sound like a crackhead if I do. I blame it on work, I had been fine until I went to work and obviously have to talk and stuff (you know what I mean), plus the aircon was cold so I got worse. Can't even go to school today.

  Modern Speech is due on Thursday, apparently. So I've been stressing over it for no apparent reason. DAMN YOU NOTIFICATION SHEET! Just received a text from Umma that I got full marks for Ancient, horrah!

  Yesterday I threw a tantrum at my parents, I immediately regretted it later. It wasn't your average pout-then-slam-door teenage PMSing but the sit-on-floor-and-not-get-up 5-year old one. Maybe I got possessed for a moment.'

  Hiro finally managed to help me get a strange medigun! I'm so happy! My sniper skills are getting better, too. I'd also like to clarify that those idiots claiming that F2P = Noob and Pay = Instant Pro are retards who can't get over the fact that people got to play a game that they paid for for free. Jealous people these days...

Ebay-ing~

  Addicted to online shopping, honestly, SO CHEAP! I will kill off all my moolah if this continues ;__________________;

  Also, my rainbow shorts ended up being a perfect fit! HORRAH! I can't wait to start wearing them!


  I just realised that I finished all the due assignments, then the fact that Modern is due on MONDAY hit me hard and now I'm hyperventilating.

  I can't stay up too late now, a family friend (cool lady honestly) came to stay for a week from China and she's staying in my room so all light must be off, no noise made etc... this would have been fine... IF SHE DOESN'T GO TO SLEEP AT LIKE 9PM. DAHELL?!

I'm Not Dumb!

  So I discovered that a girl in my grade is actually an exchange student unhappy with her homestay, LOL! We share alot in common! So me being me obviously told my mum and asked her if we're allowed to take her in. Then we began talking about it and I felt like asif I'm sounding really desperate or something. Then mum called me dumb and told me that we're not desperate for a homestay since we have like 3 people on the waiting list not including the one we have now. Wow we so popular lol. So I'm like WTF I'm not dumb and desperate it's just how I talk! I get excited over potentially interesting things and when I'm excited I apparently sound desperate! Gosh!

  My 9er Para friends are corrupting my innocent mind ;-; I wrote this witty 'Bottled water of smex, drink to become more sexy. Guaranteed chances of getting Laid: 58.6%' message on my drink bottle and Sidyl was liek dude what did they do to you. Nothing! I will NOT miss youth or church again and I will not swear or talk dirty anymoar! No moar!

  Yay for memegenerator, I found a picture that describes my own life:

I live a sad, sad life.

HBDTM

  So at the very least the moving worked out, we have finally negotiated our way to move during the Easter Holidays. Time to get organised Selena! NAONAONAO!

  The 'Elite Gathering' with Oppa Umma and Dongsaeng (too coincidental AHAHAA) and we had fun. With umma screaming while rubbing her head on my screen ("JAEJOONGS TOUCHING ME JAEJOONGS TOUCHING ME") and oppa embracing her darker side by making umma and dongsaeng's punishment games miserable and my poor dongsaeng caught up in some confusing thing. Shame oppa had to leave early and SHOCKINGLY someone I looked forwarded to coming who said they'll defs come didn't come, without a notice. It sorta saddened me on the day.

  Today was uneventful. Family didn't really do anything or really cared so I played Harvest Moon and TF2 as usual.

  Anyway, here I am spoiling myself with expensive cake that fell apart, oppa's hamburger cupcakes and TF2 items, reading through those obligatory facebook messages (kudos to all who made witty ones and OHMYGOSH Herpe called herself herpe for the first time) and feeling sad about someone's message I looked forward to for the past year (while Hiro came up with a solution on Steam and THANK YOU FOR THE GOOGLY PYRO EYES BTW)

Izo: >_> Screw him
Izo: Burn him in hell
Izo: on a stake
Izo: Sorry, may come off as harsh, but I don't really care
Waspberry♥: i know
Waspberry♥: its what i was thinking
Waspberry♥: HMPH
Izo: sdfljns;djfn
Izo: o0o0o can I help?
Izo: String him up by his sinews
Izo: and eviscerate him slowly
Izo: over a pit of burning pith

Someone always knows how to make me feel better, ahahahaa.

Firetruck

  So 3 out of the 20 people I invited can actually make it. It rendered me speechless, hell it depressed me as well. But today just before assembly started I just couldn't hold it in anymore, I think Kalis noticed this and asked me if I wanted to go the to the toilet/change rooms with her. As soon as I entered it I burst out crying for 20 minutes.

  Now despite the suspicion that arose after we returned, one thing really shocked me.

  She cried for me.

  I don't remember anyone crying for me in my entire life. I thought I triggered some sad memory in her life so I was like OMG SO SORRY I didn't mean to bring up anything that reminded you of anything but she said to me that she's crying because my story is sad. It made me super awwww inside.

  I cut my finger on the plastic bag rack at work.

Driving me Crazy

  It's a good Teen Top song :D

  Anyway because I am loser enough to keep all my emails I found a few from Kalis and Mummy and they were so nostalgic to read. I was such a bish back then >_>

  Also, mum refuses to supply me any moar money until our funds get back on track after buying the Castle Hill house. At least it's a nice house... I somehow really don't want to move so far away from everyone. Far away from Umma and Poohead and Oppa and hot guys and... URGH!! That would probably mean that I'll never see them ever again! NOOOOO!

  So I decided that... remember that guy whom I thought was cute? Why don't I talk to him before I move to secure the friendship possibility I hoped for before a certain someone ruined everything. But how the heck can I do that? Use what I did with oppa? But that's year 8(or was it 7? It has been so long)!

  Also I'm addicted to reading Chinese cellphone novels. I just can't stop reading! It keeps me very occupied.

  My COD shirt is so comfy and nice~ I love snuggling in it. I can't wait for the Cat Blanket to arrive so I can have a full snugglefest!

[REVIEW] Thirteen

  I wanted to name the title something witty like 'Bad Girls gone Worse' but then again my reviews actually get readers so here we go. After a research done by Spongebob in class I decided to bring myself to watch this movie. I've already read abit about it before and apparently it's about this girl who wants to be popular so she sucks up to the popular slut and becomes a popular slut herself. They're all basically 13 years old. In a nutshell.

  Now, before I go further into some kind of psychological analysis thing, Thirteen has some seriously shitty camera work for a 2003 film. The cameras kept on wobbling and I don't know if it's an effect to relate to this slut wannabe's thoughts but it certainly did not make my viewing experience pleasurable. And also, I only realised the movie's R rated AFTER watching it. It didn't really hit me as R because it didn't have any rude parts (LOL, but srsly the mum flashed and I was like WTF ._.). I thought it was more MA15+ than R.

No kids, you are not cool.

As I said before, this single-parented girl(Tracy) really want to fit in with the popular kids while her nerdy losery friends are just like 'meh, we dun wanna be sluts liek yooh'. She did however somehow become BFFLs with the popular chick (Evie) I think it was because she stole something and it impressed the slut group. Somewhere along the way Evie moves in with her and so did her mum's new ex-druggo boyfriend whom Tracy hates and shows it to us by cutting herself. Nice attempt to put in some unnecessary gore here director you failpoop. And they do all that shiz, you know, smoking, drinking, taking drugs, being bitches to Tracy's mum, partying, slutting around and being rebels. Eventually her mum find out and confronts her and I won't spoil it for you about what happens in the end.

  I have a couple of things to say about this plot. Firstly, her mum in all her ex-alcoholic glory is wayyyy to lenient. Asian parents for one would kill their daughter for swearing the smallest swear word in the house and double-murder their kids if the kid's best friend moved into the already cramped house. Her mum knows what's going on in her life yet does nothing until she's gone too far. Well I guess she's just an idiot for not setting a good example. I mean come on she openly screws her new boyfriend, randomly flashes and abuses alcohol and tobacco. But somehow all the audience felt sorry for her, including myself. But I betcha if an Asian parent ever watches this film they'd smash whatever screen/projector that's playing it 5 minutes into the plot.

L00k @t us w3 2 h0t 4 u b3c0z w3 dr3ss l!3k h0b0z 

  The other think that intrigued me is that these kids are 13 (and in 7th grade). THIRTEEN, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! Meanwhile back at our school the little year 7s and 8s are all innocently studying in the library. It makes me wonder if other less... prestigious schools would have similar cases of a shit lifestyle. Year 7s feel like little kids you know? However we can definitely NOT ignore the fact that these oddball cases definitely exist in our society and truthfully there's nothing anyone can do about it except to try talk your kids out of sluttery from a young age, indoctrinate 'em!

  Now, onto some of the flaws of the film I'd like to point out. Firstly, these guys girls look nothing relatively NEAR 13 so they should at least change the movie title to 'Fifteen' or something more befitting. Because nobody wants to see Child Porn if they use younger actors. And do most  bad13 year-olds in the early 2000s really act like that? I don't think so! They'll just look stupid since they're children. Secondly, when they were shoplifting they did it so fancifully and flashily it's hard to believe they managed to steal such an item. They were literally screaming 'IMMA KEEPING DIS... 4 FWEE! YAY! I'M SO BAD!' and the shop ladies are just chatting and chilling at the register. Should shop ladies at least walk around and tidy up that hellhole of a shop?!

  Additionally, why do year 7s rule the school? It seems that ONLY year 7s existed in that Middle School of theirs, maybe the rest all transferred out of horror. Year 7s are very much unseen and looked down upon in most high schools, sadly. They're very cute though! Finally, the scene when they tried to seduce the adult lifesaver guy who looked mid twenties... what the hell? How can any right-minded person be seduced by two underdeveloped kids? That guy is supposed to be the 'hot guy on the block' too!

  Well, I guess film critics are indeed right about how this movie is a horror movie for every single parent out there. Let me rephrase that actually, this film should NOT be shown anywhere within the 300m radius of Asian parents because they will come through your barriers and smash your TV or whatever. Watch out lol.

  I will stop here for today, hope you have made up your mind about watching it or not.