[REVIEW] Thirteen

  I wanted to name the title something witty like 'Bad Girls gone Worse' but then again my reviews actually get readers so here we go. After a research done by Spongebob in class I decided to bring myself to watch this movie. I've already read abit about it before and apparently it's about this girl who wants to be popular so she sucks up to the popular slut and becomes a popular slut herself. They're all basically 13 years old. In a nutshell.

  Now, before I go further into some kind of psychological analysis thing, Thirteen has some seriously shitty camera work for a 2003 film. The cameras kept on wobbling and I don't know if it's an effect to relate to this slut wannabe's thoughts but it certainly did not make my viewing experience pleasurable. And also, I only realised the movie's R rated AFTER watching it. It didn't really hit me as R because it didn't have any rude parts (LOL, but srsly the mum flashed and I was like WTF ._.). I thought it was more MA15+ than R.

No kids, you are not cool.

As I said before, this single-parented girl(Tracy) really want to fit in with the popular kids while her nerdy losery friends are just like 'meh, we dun wanna be sluts liek yooh'. She did however somehow become BFFLs with the popular chick (Evie) I think it was because she stole something and it impressed the slut group. Somewhere along the way Evie moves in with her and so did her mum's new ex-druggo boyfriend whom Tracy hates and shows it to us by cutting herself. Nice attempt to put in some unnecessary gore here director you failpoop. And they do all that shiz, you know, smoking, drinking, taking drugs, being bitches to Tracy's mum, partying, slutting around and being rebels. Eventually her mum find out and confronts her and I won't spoil it for you about what happens in the end.

  I have a couple of things to say about this plot. Firstly, her mum in all her ex-alcoholic glory is wayyyy to lenient. Asian parents for one would kill their daughter for swearing the smallest swear word in the house and double-murder their kids if the kid's best friend moved into the already cramped house. Her mum knows what's going on in her life yet does nothing until she's gone too far. Well I guess she's just an idiot for not setting a good example. I mean come on she openly screws her new boyfriend, randomly flashes and abuses alcohol and tobacco. But somehow all the audience felt sorry for her, including myself. But I betcha if an Asian parent ever watches this film they'd smash whatever screen/projector that's playing it 5 minutes into the plot.

L00k @t us w3 2 h0t 4 u b3c0z w3 dr3ss l!3k h0b0z 

  The other think that intrigued me is that these kids are 13 (and in 7th grade). THIRTEEN, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! Meanwhile back at our school the little year 7s and 8s are all innocently studying in the library. It makes me wonder if other less... prestigious schools would have similar cases of a shit lifestyle. Year 7s feel like little kids you know? However we can definitely NOT ignore the fact that these oddball cases definitely exist in our society and truthfully there's nothing anyone can do about it except to try talk your kids out of sluttery from a young age, indoctrinate 'em!

  Now, onto some of the flaws of the film I'd like to point out. Firstly, these guys girls look nothing relatively NEAR 13 so they should at least change the movie title to 'Fifteen' or something more befitting. Because nobody wants to see Child Porn if they use younger actors. And do most  bad13 year-olds in the early 2000s really act like that? I don't think so! They'll just look stupid since they're children. Secondly, when they were shoplifting they did it so fancifully and flashily it's hard to believe they managed to steal such an item. They were literally screaming 'IMMA KEEPING DIS... 4 FWEE! YAY! I'M SO BAD!' and the shop ladies are just chatting and chilling at the register. Should shop ladies at least walk around and tidy up that hellhole of a shop?!

  Additionally, why do year 7s rule the school? It seems that ONLY year 7s existed in that Middle School of theirs, maybe the rest all transferred out of horror. Year 7s are very much unseen and looked down upon in most high schools, sadly. They're very cute though! Finally, the scene when they tried to seduce the adult lifesaver guy who looked mid twenties... what the hell? How can any right-minded person be seduced by two underdeveloped kids? That guy is supposed to be the 'hot guy on the block' too!

  Well, I guess film critics are indeed right about how this movie is a horror movie for every single parent out there. Let me rephrase that actually, this film should NOT be shown anywhere within the 300m radius of Asian parents because they will come through your barriers and smash your TV or whatever. Watch out lol.

  I will stop here for today, hope you have made up your mind about watching it or not.