I guess my parents returning have been, as expected, an unfavorable outcome. Because while only one of them being at home is fine, having both can only mean hell for me because everyone seems to enjoy ganging up on me. Also, it makes my internet lag in ways you can never imagine would be humanly possible.
While I am used to this environment most of the time, it can get really, really... frustrating.
And I apologise if I portray matters in an overly light manner, but I'm pretty much so done over this I only wish that you do please hear me out.
So as most of you know I nominated Japan as first choice for my Int studies. My parents, despite abit unsure were generally fine with it when I told them earlier this year.
So I really didn't understand why shit went down as soon as I got assigned my first choice.
Of course it's about Fukushima again, and of course there are heaps of underlying racist intentions as well. The interesting thing about my parents is that my dad is a fundamentalist who is so stubborn you can pretty much never change his views. While this may mean standing up for what you believe in, most of the time it just complements his lack of education and makes everything bad for everyone. In this case, even if I explain to him in full scientific glory the logic behind the effects of radiation he wouldn't understand and frankly wouldn't care. While my mum is much more smarter, she's also a pushover who would just agree with whatever my dad believes in. So if you tell me that I should explain to them about how all those 'news articles' that they come across on Wechat or ACA are just scam, trust me, I've already tried for an entire year.
How about you tell them that because the nominations are down, you can't change it anymore? You ask. Well as I said, because he never really even finished high school the ideas of credit points and nominations are completely foreign to my father. No I can't just simply 'get it changed' or 'not go', but does he listen? Does he understand? No. What about your mum? You ask again. Well, she just denies ever being supportive of my passions and calls me a filthy liar. Okay.
So currently, I'm stuck in the middle of being disowned and completely overlooked. I'm either transparent (you can tell by the fact that I'm now reduced to a pronoun rather than name or nickname) or the butt of all shittalking in the house (even for stuff that had nothing to do with me, she is somehow able to make shit up and rage at me soon after). I get used to cold-shouldering overtime and now I just accept the outcomes of most things. Obey the hierachy and not cause trouble was my personal policy. Maybe that's why you probably haven't caught me blogging about my home troubles in so long. But sometimes enough is enough.
I thank the existence of my Steam friends to give me temporary shelter and escape to this mess I find myself in. I have messaged the subject coordinator but I don't think there's much hope in an ideal solution. My only other plan is to find the uni counsellor to sit down and talk this out.
Oh, you didn't read any of that? Too much boring, confusing text, would you like a TL;DR?
...
TLDR: I'm fking done with everyone and everything. Life sucks shit atm and I miss being alone. Thinking back on my foreveralone lyf I'd rather be forever isolated from people than having to deal with their shittiness and hide the fact that I just want to beat up everyone. Also can everyone just stop with this Fukushima bullshit and just admit the fact that you're a racist patriotic pig? TYVM.
