Home Alone

It's been a week since both my parents left for China, and so far, I think I'm enjoying my time by myself... or with a bunch of other people!

On Monday, as soon as I arrived home from the airport, I realised that noone's actually coming to my Ti4 event. Much sad... until I heard the doorbell! It's Squire! Despite having work early the next day he came and stayed till 3 anyway. I was so touched the feelz were quite real. And for once I felt most at ease looking half-dead and #nomakeupnofilter around people.

On Tuesday was when I felt quite foreveralone. It was like reality had finally sunk in and I felt so lonely and scared. Daytime was fine playing Dota with Selfie and stuff but when nighttime came I was just like omg killmenow. It was all sad until a friend told me he'd jig work to hang with me for the whole day. We went for lunch and a drive around. When I got home I was prepared to be foreveralone again... Until Squire talked me up on FB and invited me to his house :D I haven't been on a sleepover in a while so I just kind of packed my computer and PJs, forgetting the important stuff like toothbrush and pillow on the way. O well. We played more fail smurf games and at like 2am we spontaneously decided to watch the Avengers... much fail because the first half of it was so boring both of us fell asleep =_=.

The next day I was supposed to hang out with GiGi but she had some stuff on and ditched so Squire decided to take over and accompany me to grocery shopping. I was still hesitant on getting Watch Dogs but manned up and finally bought it. Turtle called me sometime and told me that him and Pres will drop by at night. Squire saw it as a queue to leave :( Turtle and Pres somehow managed to drag GiGi along and boy did they raid my house good... opening every cupboard door and scruitinising every detail. Pres decided to use my account to play Dota and one loss later till today I haven't won a single game. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE STUPID KOREAN?! Because we had an exec party the day after Pres slept in the guest room and Turtle went home to return car (at like 2am) so he could use my car to drive to Stratty next day.

Exec party was meh, I mean it would have been fun if I didn't have to leave so early. I mean THEY WERE HAVING POTATOES FOR DINNER! There were some people I was excited about seeing and others not so excited about. Karaoke destroyed my voice but hey I got to sing Kpop xD I didn't end up being late for CG, my offering talk went abit fail because I lost concentration halfway. And instead of talking to everyone afterwards I was too lazy to move and just chilled with Squire.

Saturday was my Jes day <3 I haven't seen her in so long we had alot of fun! We made our Sims family (and hot husbands LEL) We were gonna go Towers for dinner but then Turtle, Pres and VK crashed my house simultaneously because Turtle had to return my car. I got alot of BBQ sauce and drinks in return... umm okay? We went to this Indian restaurant for dinner (but not without our many many racist jokes towards Turtle) and everyone stayed really late. After sending off the non-Hills people Turtle got too tired to drive home so he crashed.

Had to get up slightly early for church on Sunday, KMe was so surprised seeing a dead turtle on my kitchen island and because I had to make juice I made everyone late :'(. Turtle left his glasses at my house LMAO. I had maid training so I wasn't able to go service :( at this rate I might get fired srsly. Made another Dota friend at training! I felt like our group was the least productive because we were too busy making inappropro jokes xD After getting myself sushi/breadtop dunch I got a lift home and spent the rest of the day gaming... which was clearly a mistake because I fell sick and had to sleep in till 5pm today.

So in conclusion, I'm very thankful for friends who are willing to accompany me through my foreveralone time. We had alot of fun and I will cherish the rest of my freedom time... can't get too used to this cuz I wouldn't want to make my parents angry when I start yelling in the middle of the night xD

[MAKEUP REVIEW] Part Four

This one's been delayed for a while and I really wanted this one to be the last one but looks like after my Strawberrynet Haul I will have to make yet another entry to keep you guys up to date. So let's get right to it!

Clinique Almost Powder Makeup 7.5/10
I always wanted to own a powder because my foundation just kept on running and becoming super oily. I was having a hard time choosing between MAC blotting powder and this one. And I must say I made the right choice! The powder just stays together amazingly compared to the ones that crumble and fall apart. The coverage is very, very sheer but as a result it is very natural and not cakey! When combo'd with my medium-coverage concealor it becomes a good finishing powder. My complaints lie in the crappy sponge included, cmon even Revlon can do better. The packaging is also abit dodgy cuz of the square shape.


Rimmel Soft Kohl Kajal Eye Liner Pencil 8/10
I love this product. I freaking love it. Not only is it cheap as heck it works just as well as any high-end eyeliner pencil (if not better cough MAC cough). I have this pencil in white to line my waterline and it actually goes on! The pigmentation is intense (though sometimes flaky but that's ok for a Drugstore product). Unfortunately for me the stupid taped barcode got stuck to the outside so now it's sticky and gross. Dammit Priceline!



YSL Rouge Volupte Shine 9/10
SS got me this lippy for my birthday and I just can't put it down afterwards! I chose No 12 without trying it on because I really like corail and once it went on my lips my oh my. The colour is so nice and pigmented I can either have a full orangey-red lip or a natural shade of pinky-red if I just apply it in the middle and smudge. The formula is also really moisturising and the best thing is it smells like watermelon! The packaging is typical YSL aesthetics: shiny and luxurious. Unfortunately this product loses a point because it's abit heavy and dries your lips quick despite the initial moisturising effect.

Urban Decay Naked 3 Palette 3/10
I bet you're surprised why I gave this widely-loved product such a low rating. As I said before, these reviews are based on my PERSONAL experience of the product. And herein lies my problem... The one I got is actually fake. Now don't get me wrong, I love SS for getting this for me when I saw it I was ecstatic. But the one I got not only did not come with UD's primer samples the colours are all wrong! Instead of rose-pink colours all the way I got a weird mix of tropical, orange and... yellow? The colour names are right but all the colours are completely off. The pigmentation and blendability isn't great either. And the brush is just... urgh. So now I'm pretty pissed off at whoever ripped off my friends and sold them this crappy fake product. For all of your conveniences I have attached a photo I found online that compares the two. Dat difference. In this product's defense though it's still a usable palette with rainbow for colours.


Loreal Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara Excess 6/10
For something from a Drugstore this product is actually pretty expensive. I use it when I want intense spiky lashes because it has a rubber wand. However the wand is freaking huge! Like how do I even ATTEMPT to do my undereye lashes without looking like Death Note's L? Back in Guangzhou I used Jes' normal Million Lashes one and it worked just fine! As I said I also don't really like big packaging because it won't fit nicely in my makeup bag. At least Loreal knows what's up when it comes to packaging.

What happens at camp, stays at camp.

Well, I've got to say, besides the little mishap on my way home this will be an experience forever etched into my brain. My voice still sound like crack, and butt muscles will probably ache for the rest of the week... WORTH?

Well let us kick start with day one. D-burger's wake-up call did NOT work, in fact we managed to talk for like 15 mins so I went from super early to late =_=. The bus trip wasn't boring because I just wanted to sleep the entire time. Upon arrival it was super cold, windy and raining too. And we were NOT impressed with the dorms/cabins because the toilets/shower area was shared and the rooms had nothing... NOTHING! But somehow, by some blessed chance GiGi and I landed an 2 person exec/staff room right next to a private bathroom, fully equipped with a TV and a minifridge which we never actually used! D-burger, Turtle and Sasa fully drove us to the edge by wanting to share our room. Turtle ended up staying and D-burger/Galeo left us with all the food we bought!

We had okonomiyaki and yakisoba for lunch. And this was one of the many moments when I felt useless. I went for an emergency toilet trip before lunch and when I got back there was just nothing I can do to help out because all the jobs were taken. This gets way worse because I'm the kind of person who wouldn't know what to do until told so, and then onwards I'd do my best to complete the task. I asked around but everyone's like just go chill. There are ofc others who weren't that impressed with my performance. Liv reassured me saying how I wasn't added to the group till like 3 days before and wasn't notified of any meetings. It made me feel better so I somehow dragged one of the okonomiyaki people off the workbench and took over 2 jobs at once.

We were then sorted into groups for the ultimate group show-down. KenKen (who somehow became my adopted father) and I were leading Team 8 (Piece of 8). I was pretty happy with who I got in my team (though two of them made me incredibly uncomfortable). We did newspaper cosplay (got Death Note as theme) and battle royale (pretty much came last). It was very tiring and I ended up being slightly pissed off but it was cool. The difference between being a leader and participating is the fact that I have to remain firm and talk condescendingly when necessary. We played Mafia and toasted marshmallows during campfire. Wilso spun me around like an airplane and on our way back they tried to spook GiGi and I so we juked them good. We were smart to spend our free time showering and just general chilling. We were happily watching EHB after dinner (food was good) before I found out that there was an exec meeting going on. Once again I felt at loss because I was never notified of such meeting (there was one missed call from Va though) and when I showed up it was pretty much over. Insert me feeling useless and unwanted here sigh. As soon as I arrived back in my cabin I just went to bed.

It took my friends a LONG time to wake me up because I pretty much don't wake up unless beaten and abused. They had to resort to tempting me with food and threatening to call you know who. During the long free time after brekkie Wilson drove D-Burger, GiGi, Galeo, Eru and I to Shoalhaven where we walked along the beach and skipped pebbles on the lake. It was super tiring and windy but so nice! We then ofc made our KFC trip so we can eat KFC and drink Welch's (AKA be black). Turns out lunch is fried chicken anyway so CEEBS. Then the corrupted bunch decided to go on a trip to Acidtown so the rest of us were just like LOLBYE.

Afterwards we had the amazing race. Once again I was really disappointed in my self, not being able to help out with anything. I asked everyone but they just told me to participate. Man I got such a headache from running around everywhere in the cold wind. Our team did pretty decent... until the other teams tricked us for the final puzzle and we ended up being dead last. So we pulled everything together and completely nailed the station activities... only to find out that we came last anyway. Why? Because it was technically a 'race' whoever reached the final destination first gets a whopping 10 points. So even though we came first in the points stage the final points just screwed us over. My group worked so hard too. So yeah amazing race was very disappointing for me.

Straight afterwards I was put on the Test of Courage team. I was really excited for it because I finally got to help out with something. I'd like to think that Va and I worked very hard because while he had to stand in the cold for 3 hours I was in a stuffy room... IN A MASK. And when people weren't scared it really disillusioned me and by the end of it I just kept telling myself that I really freaking need a drink. Then I found out (after a curious incident involving exaggerations and disappearing GiGis) that drinks night will end at 11 like what the actual fork I just sat down and they're telling me to stop after half an hour. Turns out I'm not lightweight at all and nek minut I was downing stuff like a real man ("ALIZER IS FOR GIRLS GIMME THE REAL STUFF").

So after my fourth (fifth?) drink not only did my stomach feel really warm, I felt very happy and over-the-top. So I thought to myself ok maybe it's time to stop. Then it hit me 30mins later, I literally had no control over my words and actions and I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I yelled at everyone who came across my path, cried over youknowwho, laughed like an idiot and clung onto Turtle's legs while singing rap songs (?). The worst thing is I wasn't even drunk just happy and tipsy. Five toilet trips later ("breaking the seal") I was back to a normal person. No passing out no hangover no nothing. So I guess thay was an interesting experience.

I woke up so dead the next day because instead of letting us sleep in we had to pack up by 7:30 because of changing camp policies. At least breakfast on day 3 was amazing! Wilso offered us a lift to Para so we are able to leave straight after lunch. Then as I said I saw something that upset me and D-burger had to yell at me to bring me back down to earth. I had CG afterwards  but noone except the three of us showed up meh :(

So in conclusion, camp was an interesting experience. There were definitely fun moments and there were also others that weren't so pleasant. But hey, 9/10 would go again.

I think I know how you feel now, Jes

I just want some time for myself, at least 3 days worth of staying home, sleeping in and just chilling with noone else but me.

I'm so sick of socialising, of attending outings and keeping up my energetic facade so people won't ask me if I'm okay because I seem quiet.

I really want to curl up in a ball and sleep till I wake naturally.

For the past two weeks I really can't tell the fact that I'm actually on holidays. I'm either constantly occupied with Anime/Church things or catching up with old friends, or having people over on my only off-days. Or having fifty billion conversation windows open when I'm only trying to enjoy a game of Dota.

Please give me a break, everyone.

When people are crappy

I feel like this blog is dying, so I'll do my best

Because I've been so busy every single day, literally Morning-Midnight all day errday. Like if you look in my diary there's writing everywhere.Yet there's really nothing big happening. I didn't buy anything extravagant, no developments in the relationship department, maid cafe training wasn't that exciting, no big drama turning everything upside down. I'm just good ol regular... me.

But something has come to my attention recently, and I'd like to address it.

The hype of becoming an exec after SGM died down really fast as I came to understanding with how it really is just a fun thing and not a power-struggle or whatnot. I stopped feeling the need to flaunt my position everywhere, because it really isn't anything worth flaunting. We exist to make the club a better place, nothing more, nothing less. So I really don't understand why having a position can corrupt some people, making them forget the reason why they were chosen in the first place.

What every company member should do is, putting it in Chinese, their 本分工作, which means what we are supposed to/assigned to do. If you can't even do your 本分工作 well, how can you even think of doing all the extras or moving up the corporate ladder? And why would you expect to get recognition for the nothing that you've done? Some people do all the hard work but don't expect to be praised, and others only do the surface work, then they expect everyone to love them and stupid stuff like that.

And why do people have such superiority complexes? Sometimes we have to accept that everyone has their own faults because nobody's perfect! You can't just judge everyone based on yourself. I hate it when people think they're top dog when in reality, they're not. I think that I'm quite sensitive to this issue after all that high school drama my own ego has caused. I refused to step down and think about things in other people's shoes, and that led to lots of trouble.

Backstabbing is not cool, bro. You'd think that people won't find out, but things like this spread really quickly. You have to be careful when telling secrets that are harmful to someone because eventually, what goes around comes around and by then it'll be too late to turn back.