I got a few exam results back. I'm alright with them (yes even my crappy near-fail modern mark because c'mon admit it I didn't know anything about anything when I went into the exam. E for Effort.) I'll do the Great Gatsby Review later when I actually decide to give a crap.
Speaking of giving a crap, I think I understand some of the things Jimface said to me that day. The world doesn't revolve around me, there's no need for others to know all my problems because it's just burdensome. What did they say about swallowing your pride or something? The thing is I'm having a hard time doing that. I've become so accustomed to solving my personal issues via telling them to others it's incredibly difficult to keep stuff to myself. I understand how he was complaining about how I don't seem to care about how others feel because it's always about me. And I quote Mr Duck: "Ultimately, nobody really cares, because every man for himself".
Recently I've been trying to shut myself in, nobody needs to know about what I ate for breakfast or how I'm having issues with parents. NOBODY. And it's not "Teenage angst nobody-cares-about-me" bullshit, I'm serious. Think of it as self-improvement, I need to help out others more and find out more about them. Just like Jimface AKA Douchebagslut had always wanted. But it's just so hard to do that, so very hard. I feel like my insides are gonna burst from the amount of crap they've been storing.
The solution? Violence. I find it extremely helpful to smash my bed and hard as crap mattress with a full-latex luxurious pillow. I also enjoy pelting articles of clothing around my room aiming for the stupid snob chandelier in the center of my room (my poor aim and upper-arm strength had never succeeded in hitting it).
Some recent events I find concerning:
- Dad used a bread knife with a ribbed but still pretty sharp edge and LITERALLY ran it a few times on the back of my wrist, it didn't leave a visible mark or hurt at all but DAFUQ
- Internet on my computer has been acting up.
- Joffrey makes me sick.
- I've been missing LGD matches and it makes me sad.
- It seems my mother has finally decided to neglect everything and just work.
Hard game hard life.
