Imagine if you were suddenly hit by some kind of positive-spiritual-ookypooky energy, and suddenly your eyes brightened and you smile and people around you look at you like a retard.
It happened to me. But if you read this you probably won't believe me and think I'm pretending and being a fake, well I don't care! Hear me out here! Do whatever you think is appropriate!
I was just in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to get something off my face, minding my own business and then it hit me and alot of stuff just seemed to all enter my brain at the same time. I swear I nearly became dizzy and fainted right ther.
I quickly went back to this blog and reviewed my past entries, I was wrong about everyone all the time! Like some sudden self-realisation just happened to occur as I read on and on. Hell I can really be mean without knowing the whole situation at times! I'm not saying I suddenly realised it's all my fault, I guess I still have that bit of pride left. I'm just saying, I did many things I regret doing this year, all because I never seem to think before I open my mouth and then the future becomes all sad.
What happened with OZ was kinda sad; I can't believe I said those things because I was in sulking mode(everyone seems to go through that stage). What happened at camp was depressing; it was like word vomit at its worst state. Although I don't know about what some people(not putting them in a bad light here, just implying that they might have misunderstood) kept on saying how they overheard me bitching when all I talked about with my roommates was Carl's infatuation with Lucy, Nifky's old love and Kpop. What happened during a certain lunchtime was pure impulse; I ought to get a new brain replacement.
Anyhow I believe since I regret doing those things I will here and now apologise to all whom I have unknowingly(or purposefully, I can be like that) hurt. This real 'Selena' is still hard to grasp, but I realised Selena is never made to hate others, it always makes her frustrated in the end. She's the cheerful one who will always stick by her loved ones till the very destruction of her being.
Nothing is irreversible! I say! Unless someone you know... passed on... I hope that if you're reading this; you would kind of understand how I feel right now. Can't things just go back to how they were before? It seemed like a stupid, naive idea; but always worth a shot. I'm sure if you're sad or affected enough you'd be like "OHH you do this and that and now you think saying sorry's gonna change anything?" or "OOH you're just a fake little piece of #*$(@" or maybe a little "YEAH good thing you realised what a sorry little *@$(# you are now go kill yourself" and the likes. Well save your tongue for praising Cheondung because I just said all of that for you.
...I'm feeling like an Alice right now >_>
Oh, and I really wanna play TF2 but my comp is being a poo >(! And what would be cool? Working for Machinima :D
PEACE!
